I was once told by my grandfather that I was incorrigible. I used to think that was a horrible thing to be. Now I consider it a great compliment.
in·cor·ri·gi·ble /inˈkôrijəbəl/
***
Oh, you want details?
I’m a 43 year young woman with tigress blood and Aphrodite DNA. Winning… I mean, kidding.
Actually, I am a former really stressed-out, uptight scientist who worked the biotech field for twelve years (in microbiology, forensic DNA, and medical genetics) before coming home to raise my daughters. I have worked on some really interesting things and with some amazing people in my life.
I’ve been married for 15 years to a mechanical engineer-turned-intuitive healer (massage and craniosacral therapist).
I’m very spiritual, but not religious.
“the only people for me are the mad ones, the ones who are mad to live, mad to talk, mad to be saved, desirous of everything at the same time, the ones who never yawn or say a commonplace thing, but burn, burn, burn like fabulous yellow roman candles exploding like spiders across the stars and in the middle you see the blue centerlight pop and everybody goes ‘Awww!’ What did they call such young people in Goethe’s Germany?”
~ Jack Kerouac, On The Road Again
The Sprightly Writer 
Hi Sprightly Writer, have you done the “National novel writing month” (November)? One month to write a 50,000 word novel :0
Free Monkey –
I attempted NaNoWriMo twice.
The first year, my daughter’s teacher from the year before finally succumbed to cancer. I was 15,000 words into it and my daughter and I were just devastated.
The second year…I got to 23,000 words…and well, I just…I’m not sure what knocked me off course. I just got behind…and stayed behind.
🙂
Thanks for the suggestion. I might just get off my butt and finish what I started.
Oh, and hi there. I forgot your nom de plume and I think I just figured out who you are!
Thanks so much for saying hello.
Casey.
(I still plan on writing you if you are who I am pretty sure you are…life has been, well, crazy here).
I didn’t tick the notify button so only just realized you’ve replied. Yep it’s me 🙂 I replied to your email, I hope you’re well.
I haven’t given NaNo a go yet, something turned up in the paper about it recently and it was the first I’d heard of it. The word count is a bit brutal, short stories probably would have been better. I started writing a book years ago in between studying communications at uni, spent a few years on it and in the end decided I didn’t like the idea I was writing and just deleted all my copies when it reached first draft, to me it was as finished as it needed to be. I worked over the material so much I pretty much memorized it, quite a bit of it has come out in blog form, it was frustrating not being able to finish things in one sitting the way I can do with painting but it taught me how to write though.
I’m okay. I’m well enough, just tired and worn out. I can’t give an appropriate response to this because I need a nap. I will, though, soon. And I’ll be sending you an email sometime soon as well.
And thank you.
Hello sprightly writer, good to see you. Great blog. Looking forward for your posts.
Thank you, OC
I have been wanting to write a new post for a while, but I have been having trouble deciding on what to write lately, but a few ideas are incubating.
All the best,
Casey
I’m mentioned as an interesting person. Neato! Nice to meet you!
Sabrina – Nice to meet you too. We ‘met’ on the My Gifted Life forum. I was/am sciencemama, at least until they close down for good.
Take care.
Casey
Casey,
So happy that we have connected through our blogs. Yours is a remarkable set of fascinating and thoughtful ramblings that- at least for me- are tied together by a thread- the idea of struggling to make our way in a world that often seems alien to us. (One clue might be your affinity with my friend, the brilliant, Julien.)
The short reference to the opening scene from that episode of “Elementary” is also, I think, important here. I watch the show regularly and like you am taken with the actor’s habitation of that iconic role, Sherlock Holmes. I was knocked over by the scene you reference. Felt enormous empathetic connection with the character in that moment.
As I continue on my journey, I increasingly find myself seeking solitude and abhorring “multi-tasking.” Your preface to the piece on “loneliness,” as well as the excerpt itself, resonates with my experience. I have felt a chilling sense of loneliness in a dinner party setting and felt connected and at one with all while alone in the wilderness, a feeling that was the opposite of loneliness for me.
I’ll look forward to your future writings.
Tom
Just a quick note, as I’m going to run out for a bit.
First off, thank you so much.
I spent a bit of time reading your writings last night. Your experience resonates, deeply. I adore the powerful way you express with such poetry and simplicity. I found myself wanting to reply on just about every post…and decided I better wait on it.
I know that’s a direction I would like to take my writing. Often times, I feel have too much analysis, not enough poetry. I’d like less of the former and more of the latter.
I’ll be back to respond more, but I just wanted you to know this little bit, for now.
I look forward to your future writings too.
Casey
Tom –
Finally I’ve got some time to come back to your comment.
I’m glad to have been connected with you as well. I’m drawn to complex characters like Sherlock Holmes, and Miller’s interpretation of him is outstanding. I would consider him to be a Byronic hero and there is a deep sense of kindredship I feel in him. I was knocked over too, by that scene. I am happy to report I’d never used synthetic drugs as a poultice, however, I have been addicted to thrill/conflict and sensual pleasures at times.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Byronic_hero
Arrogant
Cunning and able to adapt
Cynical
Disrespectful of rank and privilege
Emotionally conflicted, bipolar, or moody
Having a distaste for social institutions and norms
Having a troubled past or suffering from an unnamed crime
Intelligent and perceptive
Jaded, world-weary
Mysterious, magnetic, and charismatic
Rebellious
Seductive and sexually attractive
Self-critical and introspective
Self-destructive
Socially and sexually dominant
Sophisticated and educated
Struggling with integrity
Treated as an exile, outcast, or outlaw
That particular scene showed a vulnerable moment. He’s not often that vulnerable. I share many of these traits, though as I’m working on my journey, a lot of them are being resolved.
It’s interesting that you were a lawyer. There were three generations of lawyers in my family. My grandfather (probate law), my uncle (criminal defense) and my brother (education law).
There was a time too when I was seriously considering going into law as well. When I was a teenager, I even spent some time in a group called Explorers – a branch of the Boys Scouts of America where teens can explore different careers. Girls could join, too. And the one I chose was for law.
I really admired my grandfather and I wanted to be like him. And of course, I was always arguing for truth, and law seemed like a natural fit.
Have you ever seen the movie Into the Wild? Yes, that’s more like me inside, but way less radical. At some point, I went off the path.
I was finding myself having a great deal of achievement in science in school and when it came down to it, I loved what I was doing and and I eventually carved a nice little niche for myself. I ended up at the University of Chicago, an environment I loved dearly. And then walked away to make room for a long chapter of motherhood, a decision my ego still wrestles with at times.
One of these days I plan to write a post called A Tale of Two Siblings, about the differences in personality and upbringing and outcomes between my brother and I. It seems like we’ve been so alike and yet so divergent in our paths. He chose the well-worn conventional path, I ventured further out. I admire and envy him a little bit, but ultimately, I think if I could have gone back and changed anything, I’m not so sure I would. When my daughter had been diagnosed with selective mutism, I spent a lot of time researching how to help. I also wrote about our journey on one of my other blogs to help other parents http://raisingsmartgirls.wordpress.com/our-daughters-selective-mutism-journey/
My sensitivities and personal research are what helped me advocate for her and help her at home to overcome that condition. And, I’ve been able to help others as well. It’s been wonderful.
Interestingly enough, having worked in the forensic field in DNA analysis for 5 years out of the 12 I spent in biotech, I spent a great deal of time working with lawyers and testifying in the courtroom. I’ve got about 25 expert witness testimonies under my belt. But that was a lifetime ago.
And now that I’m raising my daughters, life is a lot less stressful in some ways, but way more stressful in other ways. I’m responsible for so much of their shaping and I’m feeling like life is completely amplified in me. I have to worry about school shootings now whereas my parents had a pretty care-free faith that school was a safe haven.
Quite honestly, though I am trusting my daughters to the Universe, I’m scared out of my mind for them, and sometimes, me too, as I work as a substitute teacher. In the days following the Connecticut shooting, I was very sad and worried. I kept rehearsing what I would do in the event that happened in a school I was teaching at. I know I’d lay down my life for the kids…that’s just in me, but then what would my daughters do?
So, I’m trying to learn to live with the groundlessness. To trust in love in the midst of fear.
And solitude…oh yes, I crave solitude sometimes more than I crave true kindredship. But like you are drawn to the ocean, I’m drawn to the woods, partly because I’m landlocked, but if given a choice, I’d choose the woods. Something about being enveloped in the towering trees comforts me. I’m overwhelmed with wonder and I sense a much larger quiet space open up within.
Nature is so much bigger than my tendency to ruminate.
And you can tell by my writing that I often synthesize different concepts from different sources of inspiration. I write this way because it’s therapeutic and it harnesses the ideas rolling around in my head. And ultimately, I think the winding path is leading me home…to Self.
But, I still long for the elegant simplicity that I see in your writing. Some pieces, like Flesh and Bones, are hauntingly beautiful. But not only is there great beauty in your writing, but there’s the content I truly hope to echo in my own life.
You’re definitely one I want to learn from.
Warm Regards,
Casey
Casey,
Wishing you and family a positive New Year. Thank you so much for your support of my posts. Connecting with you makes me smile.
Best Regards,
Roberta
Thank you so much, Roberta. I’m already planning on using some of your ideas to improve my boundaries and ensure I can attract healthy friends into my life.
I wish you and yours well in the New Year, too.
I hope you have a healthy and happy and prosperous year.
All the best,
Casey
Hello Casey,
I am happy to make the acquaintance with you in the blogosphere. Like you, I also love Jack Kerouac, he’s an amazing man, full of passion and love. May we all learn from him. Also, I would like to thank you for following my blog. May the Saturday posts that I write in there be of any use to you. Blessings and love to you ♥
Subhan,
I’m sure your Saturday posts will be very useful to me. I appreciate you very much for writing them. I think they will be very helpful to me in my healing journey.
I am looking forward to exploring more of Kerouac’s work. I do agree he was an amazing soul.
I’m very pleased to have met you through this blogging community.
Warmly,
Casey
Casey,
Glad to make the acquaintance. May your healing journey be a blessed one. Much love to you, xoxo
Casey! I’ve missed you! I took a sabbatical from being Jenna for a while (bad boyfriend experience and a brief setback with the bipolar balance – whew eee!) but I started writing again and I reckoned that must mean the Jenna is coming back around. 🙂 So, of course, who do I go to when I need inspiration? So glad to see you, girl!
Jen,
I’ve missed you SO much! I stopped by your blog a little while ago. I was thinking of you and hoping you were all right. Life has been so crazy…so crazy. No, let me take that back. I’ve been crazy. Life has just been life.
Let’s just say I can relate (quite a bit) to be taken off balance by life and own’s own chemistry. I have hashimoto’s thyroiditis, and, coupled with some of my own struggles with recurrent depression and relationship problems, my own moods have swung pretty chaotically for a time. I’m so sorry about the bad boyfriend experience, but we can heal from ALL kinds of bad relationship experiences. Trust me, I know this first hand. I’ve gotten myself into a recovery program for adult children of alcoholics and dysfunctional families, and I’m using poetry, photography and art journaling as tools in my recovery process. I don’t feel quite so despairing.
I’m also substitute teaching now. And while it’s not enough money, at least it gets me out of the house.
I’m so looking forward to your blogging again. Did you finish your studies in school (last I knew you were in microbiology). i’m jonesing to go back to school in the fall. I’m thinking of taking a master naturalist program in the spring…to get me used to being a student again. We’ll see how it goes.
And…if you feel up to it, we could connect off the blogs as well.
Oh…and have you checked out the new Cosmos with Neil de Grasse Tyson?
I remembered you loved Carl Sagan’s version as a child (which, by the way, I have the DVD set of because of our conversations about him….)
Is it possible to get hold of you, Casey?
I would love to hear your email address, maybe. Seriously. 🙂
I whispered it to you.
Check your inbox
(You have to input your email address to leave comments here, so I emailed you at that address you use for your blog).
Great blog. Glad I found you through NaBloPoMo. It’s so exciting to be making all sorts of spiritual connections in all sorts of places. For as much as the smart phone in everyone’s hand doesn’t necessarily make us all smarter, there is a wonderful unifying effect of the internet. I look forward to reading more!
Thank you, ShantiOm
I’m glad you did, too.
I don’t have a smart phone. I have a dumb phone. It can make calls and texts, but not very well (I just have a flip phone with no microkeyboard).
I agree, I do appreciate reaching out and learning from one another. Having various perspectives does open the mind and heart. And there are some wonderful bloggers out there. I do love those who are on a more mindful path.
I will definitely check out your blog, thanks SO much for your comment!
Be well,
Casey