Expansion and Contraction

I went for a walk tonight at my favorite park tonight, to take pictures and think. I sat down and watched the water a while. And cried.

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They did a great job of planting the annuals this year.

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Because they planted these Queen Anne’s Lace flowers, we might have the Monarchs come back this fall on their migration route.

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Things are changing fast and I’m trying to remain at peace within myself in this tumultuous time – it’s very difficult.

But one thing I can count on is for people to be who they are, not who I would like them to be. To resist this reality is heartbreak waiting to happen. My heart expands and contracts, trying to accommodate the changes that have already arrived, and the ones that are coming. I don’t know where I’ll end up in the end, and my life feels like a free fall at the moment.

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After my cry, I looked up at the wildflowers. I saw an American Goldfinch alight on one of them. I quickly scrambled to my feet with my camera and asked the bird to stay a moment. And it had. It was lingering at the flowers, poking its beak in the petals, maybe to get nectar.

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I hope someday someone will be able to build a life with me and the girls.

I can be alone, I can do things by myself, and while I do enjoy my own company, and the company of the natural world and my own thoughts and my own creativity, I do know that I prefer to have someone to hold and share ideas with and explore the world with.

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About Casey

“the only people for me are the mad ones, the ones who are mad to live, mad to talk, mad to be saved, desirous of everything at the same time, the ones who never yawn or say a commonplace thing, but burn, burn, burn like fabulous yellow roman candles exploding like spiders across the stars and in the middle you see the blue centerlight pop and everybody goes ‘Awww!’ ~ Jack Kerouac, On The Road Again
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2 Responses to Expansion and Contraction

  1. Phil says:

    Hoping you find some inner peace…

  2. LaVagabonde says:

    Beautiful and heartfelt. A field of wildflowers is a comforting sanctuary.

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