If all goes well, my husband will be moving out August 15th.
I’ve been crying off and on for nearly two weeks.
It’s harder than I thought it was going to be. Tonight is particularly hard and I keep reaching out but no one is available. It’s always like that. When I really need to reach out, no one is there. And so I often don’t bother.
I’m not handling this well. It doesn’t matter how many times I tell myself there’s a reason we didn’t work out, it doesn’t help. It doesn’t matter that in some ways we’ve both moved on. Because I guess in some way, I have not.
This is the first time in 18 years I won’t be living with my husband. I don’t know what to do with this pain. Crying doesn’t bring relief. It just hurts worse.
The hardest part? My mother has rejected me (again). My mother doesn’t want to talk to me, or help me in any way. She’s turned her back on me and taken away the assistance she was giving me, because he wants the divorce. It doesn’t matter any more to my mother why. It’s all my fault he wants it.
I hate this.