This is a great time to accept, flow and smile

I unfriended my family on facebook – my mother and sisters, mostly because I just want my privacy, especially after what my mother has said to me after I told her I was going to visit my father while he’s still alive.

My mother does not want me to go, but I am going.

I’m going to visit my father, knowing this is probably very well the last time I will be able to see him and tell him, in person, that I love him and how much he means to me. My mother was telling me yesterday that my father did not care at all about me, that I do not need to go to Colorado to see my father, that I can’t afford to go, and that it was wrong for me to leave my girls.

My sister responded on my husband’s page. This was her response to my facebook unfriending, which I did because I don’t want them in my personal business anymore.

My younger half-sister said, “Great talk. Clearly You need help. I haven’t talked to you since [our nephew’s] party but suddenly I’m deleted from FB bc your fighting with Mom? Awesome. I’ll take you off the list for C’s party. I don’t want any drama… Between helping the kids with their dad’s loss and trying to get better from another procedure, I don’t need the crap. A big thumbs up to you though for yet again, ruining things between us, this is number 6 in a row. I’m finished giving you chances”

As far as I am concerned, there is no drama, other than the drama my sick family creates.

My response to her: “I am not fighting with Mother. I am not talking to Mother. No talk. No fight. It’s that simple. I plan to talk a lot more about my feelings and this trip and my dad on facebook and I didn’t want to upset anyone while I did.”

So, she thinks that unfriending her on facebook is “ruining” things.  Um, yeah.

I guess she can have her hurt feelings.  She can take me off the guest list for her son’s party.  She can be finished giving me chances.  She can think I’ve ruined my relationship for the, let me think, how many times has it been that I RUINED our relationship?  6 times, not counting, of course, the times she was the one who cut me out of her life.

Now what were those wonderful words of Gede Prama?  Oh yes, I remember now.

Accept, flow, smile.

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About Casey

“the only people for me are the mad ones, the ones who are mad to live, mad to talk, mad to be saved, desirous of everything at the same time, the ones who never yawn or say a commonplace thing, but burn, burn, burn like fabulous yellow roman candles exploding like spiders across the stars and in the middle you see the blue centerlight pop and everybody goes ‘Awww!’ ~ Jack Kerouac, On The Road Again
This entry was posted in adult child of alcoholics, adult survivors of abuse, Compassion and tagged , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

2 Responses to This is a great time to accept, flow and smile

  1. ksbeth says:

    less said, the better at this point. do what you feel is right and what you need to do. don’t even waste your time or emotional energy, responding or fighting. keep it all for the upcoming challenges you are facing. best, beth

  2. Casey says:

    Beth, it gets worse. My mother managed to send me a message on facebook and I don’t know how to block her. I’m going to share what she said next. Not because I want to add drama…just because I need help processing what she’s doing.

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