I’m trying to recover from the sociopaths who were in my life. Without going into the details, I wanted to share something I am learning.
I am learning how to see through lies and escape the confusion and chaos of sociopathic people. I’ve unfortunately been friends with a few and it took me a long time to realize the pattern I’d gotten set up for.
The reason is that childhood abuse creates something called an “emotional blindness” in us. I found this concept from Lovefraud.com:
“[Alice] Miller focuses on childhood—on how corporal punishment (spanking/whipping) and humiliation—cause a type of blindness in adulthood that can lead to being manipulated and UNABLE TO SEE THROUGH LIES.
- Traditional methods of upbringing, which have included corporal punishment, lead a child to DENY suffering and humiliation. (Can anyone related to having a high pain threshold? Where did I get that bruise or cut—I don’t remember getting it? Ever feel humiliated at being spanked, paddled or whipped as a child? Ever experience a parent being insensitive to suffering?)
- This denial, although essential if the child is to SURVIVE, will later cause emotional blindness.
- Emotional blindness produces “barriers in the mind” erected to guard against dangers. This means that early denied traumas become encoded in the brain, and even though they no longer pose a threat, they continue to have a subtle, destructive impact. (The memory of how to respond to such crappy behavior from our parents and authority figures is still there.)
- Barriers in the mind keep us from learning new information, putting it to good use, and shedding old, outdated behaviors.
- Our bodies retain a complete memory of the humiliations we suffered, driving us to inflict unconsciously on the next generation what we endured in childhood, unless we become aware of the cause of our behavior, which is embedded in the history of our own childhoods.”
I’ve been in abusive relationships with my family and tolerated abusiveness in my friendships. I might share in time, but I’m incredibly embarrassed and ashamed at what I allowed into my life.