The Soundtrack of My Life

I spent the entire afternoon in a little bit of personal research, having been reminded by a good friend of mine of the beautiful lyricism of certain kinds of music. In the daily cacophony of life with little ones, I’d forgotten to stop and listen to the splendid compositions out there. So I spent time on YouTube looking for the music that called to me…that I loved but set aside as my responsibilities distracted me from them.

I’d like to share some significant pieces meant to me in my life and why:

Christofori’s Dream by David Lanz.

This is a hauntingly exquisite piece. My husband and I loved this piece when we were dating and for his birthday many years ago, I bought him the sheet music so he could learn to play it for me.

Outback: Baka.

This piece was meaningful to me because it reminds me of the time I was in an 18 month forensics training program. I was living in Springfield at the time, for the first time in my life far away from the family dysfunction I grew up in. I sometimes came home stressed out from the training program – mostly tension from co-workers causing me aggravation combined with being 3 hours away from my fiance. I would lay down in a big bean bag chair with a glass of wine, turned this music up loud, closed my eyes and I could feel the tension and the loneliness dissipate as I let the music just flow around me.

With Arms Wide Open by Creed.

We heard this song first shortly after I conceived my first child. This song gave us great comfort when we were scared to be parents, and it gave us great sadness when we heard it after I miscarried that baby. Every time I’d hear this song, we’d break down and cry.

It was also on the birth cd my husband brought for me to listen and happened to come on just as I delivered my second baby. It will always be special to us.

Travelin Soldier by the Dixie Chicks. This piece makes me remember me as an 18 year old, loving my first love who went into the armed forces. For reasons too difficult to explain, my mother made us break up. I spent the next 4 years pouring out my love to him in love letters sent at least twice monthly (and often more), knowing I might never see him again. I had to get a post office box when I found out she intercepted a few of our letters. He returned as many letters as he was able to over those four years – from San Diego, from Miami, from North Carolina, from overseas.

About 10 years ago, when he was dating someone who was very  that he wouldn’t have my letters thrown out by a girl he was dating, he returned all my letters to me. After a time where we hadn’t spoken for a long while, we reunited and he played me this song. He used this song to tell me how much those letters meant to him.

We are still great friends though, 23 years later and our families have gone on vacations together.

I found Josh Turner’s Long Black Train reminded me of the time I wanted to end my life when I was younger, but realized after seeking refuge from the parents of a friend of mine, I really wanted very much to live to see how my life turned out (pretty great, I think).

My husband and I have always been touched by Remember When by Alan Jackson. The line “made love and then you cried” is a personally meaningful.  I remember the times I made love with him and then cried – something about making love to him just touched deep into my soul.   We remember the beautiful times and the devastating times but that we gotten through all of them.

And when I feel overwhelmed, I love listening to Enigma’s Return to Innocence.

I realize some people never really identify their lives or their loves with certain pieces, but I have remembered a number of significant events or places by associating music with them.

If ever I had a soundtrack for the story of my life…this would be it.

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About Casey

“the only people for me are the mad ones, the ones who are mad to live, mad to talk, mad to be saved, desirous of everything at the same time, the ones who never yawn or say a commonplace thing, but burn, burn, burn like fabulous yellow roman candles exploding like spiders across the stars and in the middle you see the blue centerlight pop and everybody goes ‘Awww!’ ~ Jack Kerouac, On The Road Again
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One Response to The Soundtrack of My Life

  1. Phil says:

    That’s quite a selection of pieces, and while all might be aural delights in and of themselves, they are as you so aptly put them personal as well. The lyrics, the sound, the aural experience hits and resonates with certain inner emotions locked in time and circumstance. I like how you’ve explained all these and what they in fact mean to you personally. Very revealing.

Would you like to share your thoughts? I'd love to hear them.

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